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Written by admin
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:30 |
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Height of Communication Gap
Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?"
"Yes….speaking
AEC guy says, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.
"What are you saying?
It's in your files......
HOW?????
"Yes ............... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD!!!!!!.........this is too much..........she says"
"Madam, I am sorry...... I am following orders.... I have to inform you are overdue", the AEC guy says.
"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight.... he will speak to your company tomorrow"
That night, she tells her husband about the phone call and he, mad as a bull, the next day morning rushes to AEC office.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you?
And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." |
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Written by admin
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:27 |
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Test Your Intelligence
Q Where was the first potato found?
Ans: In the ground.
Q: What comes down but never goes up?
Ans: rain.
Q: If three cats kill three rats in three minutes, how long will it take hundred cats to kill hundred rats?
Ans: three minutes.
Q: What can fly but has no wings?
Ans: Time.
Q: What always goes 2 sleeps wearing its shoes?
Ans: Horse.
Q: I m like a ribbon, tied by nature, across the sky, what m I?
Ans: Rainbow.
Q: How would u write nineteen that if one is taken out, then its remains twenty.
Ans: XIX when one is taken out, its remains XX.
Q: There were ten sparrows sitting on a tree. A hunter fired and two of them fell dead. How many sparrows were left on the tree?
Ans: Non.
Q: Two sons and two fathers went hunting. They succeeded in hunting one pigeon each on counting it was found that they were only three pigeons. How is that?
Ans: They were only three persons, son father and grandfather.
Q: Which is the hardest key to turn?
Ans: Donkey.
Q: which part of London in France?
Ans: -N-
Q: why ur nose is not twelve inches long?
Ans: Because then it would be a foot.
Q: What r the largest ant in the world?
Ans: Elephant.
Q: what is the easiest way to get to heaven quickly?
Ans: just stand in front of the fast moving car
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
Ans: at the river bank.
Q: Which sea has waves but no water?
Ans: BBC.
Q: What do u calls an Arabian milkman?
Ans: milk shaikh.
Q: Which is the most shocking city in the world?
Ans: electricity.
Q: Why Pakistani cricket team given cigarette lighter?
Ans: because they lost all their matches.
Q: Which fish lives in heaven?
Ans: Angel fish. |
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Written by admin
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 13:25 |
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Ten best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk
10."They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9."This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that
time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white out. You probably got
here just in time."
7. "I wasn't sleeping, I was meditating on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm."
6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-
related stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice
Yoga?"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to
our biggest problem."
3. "The coffee machine is broken."
2. "Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot."
And the number one best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at
your desk:
1. " ... in Jesus' name, Amen." |
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Written by admin
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 12:48 |
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newton in romantic mood......
Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from
One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money . "
first law:
"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy."
second law:
" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "
third law:
"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite
to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.
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Written by Sachin Dad
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Thursday, 21 January 2010 12:43 |
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There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except.... and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'" "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big f*cking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!" The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more. "I'll take it!" said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pu$$y." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
WaNnA ReAd MoRe LoGiN HeRe............. |
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